It's a Tough Life, Kid

A friend of mine sent this to me today. I felt the need to share with everyone else. Enjoy.

Yo, listen kid. Here’s the best advice I can give you if you’re ever
in a dogfight. If the enemy is ever behind you, what you want to do is
draw him in close. Nerves of steel, kid. It works especially well with
migs. You’re going to then slam on the brakes, he’s going to blow
right by you, and you’re going to knock that mig right out of the sky.

Also, if you’re ever in a tailspin, you look out for #1. You take care
of yourself, you let your wingman die. At that point, its every man
for himself. But then afterwards make sure you pretend to feel really
badly about it. Then toss his dog tags into the ocean. Because
whatever you do, the last thing is hold onto the dog tags of the guy
you just killed in the event that fatherless son is going to one day
go looking for those dog tags to glean inspiration from them because
they’re not going to mean anything to a kid like that.

Kid: “Hey listen Mav, I never, ever got to really meet my father,
because, well, you killed him when I was one. I had no relationship
with him, I know you knew him, I know you knew everything about him,
is there anything you kept or saved that belonged to him that I could
have right now?”

Maverick: “Nope”

Kid: “No dog tags, no nothing?”

Maverick: “Oh the dog tags. No Jr, I was struggling with your old
man’s death, so I went to the end of a pier one day and threw them
into the bottom of the ocean. But I’ll tell ya what, I don’t have
those dog tags, but I know where you can rent some scuba gear and I
can point you in the general direction so if you want to go get them
yourself you can. Just get one of those oxygen tanks with like 30
hours of oxygen

Oh and if you ask permission for a fly-by and they deny it, you do it any way.

Oh and I almost forgot, and this is important. You are going to like
to play volleyball sometimes. If you play, you are going to want to
make sure you play on a court that has a net that is about 4 feet of
the ground so you can spike it and look really bad ass. And make sure
you wear jeans.