Gettin' My Ducks in a Row

Once upon a time, I had a girlfriend, and I was in love. Please, Please, hold your applause to the end of the story. I try not to get too emotional on here, or be mushy, because I naturally tend to be that way, but in this particular story I kind of have to be. I remember the night I realized that I loved this girl, although I can't exactly remember the date. She came up on a Saturday to visit and run some errands, and I trying to be the doting boyfriend, had spent most of the week researching various culturally-expanding and positively-beneficial activities that we could participate in. As we rolled around town in my cherry 96 GMC Yukon, and I listed off the art galleries and plays and jazz sessions in town, I distinctly remember her putting her flip flops on the dash and looking at me with this cute smile and saying, "Can't we just go back to your house and watch college football?" Five years down the road, clearly we have gone our separate ways, but that night sticks out in my mind like it was just moments ago. We watched Tennessee and Erik Ainge give away a really ugly game against the Florida Gators in Urban Meyer's first year at the helm, comfortably nudged together on the couch in the living room, and I remember thinking as "Rocky Top" blared through the speakers, "This is one of the happiest days of my life." I bring up that story for this reason; to this day, nothing brings peace and completion to my life like College Football. This may be one reason why I'm still single, but I still hold out hope that the last girl I fall for will say the same thing to me, someday. I hate the rankings that get put out, because two games into the season you really don't know that much about most teams, but I decided on doing something a little different. I'm going to pick several teams and explain to you why they WON'T win the National Championship this year. It's not really a ranking, but more of a reasonable explanation of the challenges each team must overcome to get to summit. I'll include the local squads too because I know some people read our blog don't get to see much about them.

-Alabama: ESPN's ratings darling, due to the fact that most of the South is obsessed with College Football like a fat kid is obsessed with Dunkin Donuts, and why wouldn't they? Hot Co-Eds in houndstooth skirts drinking cocktails all day, phenomenal tailgating food, a collection of the greatest athletes across five states, and I'm only half joking when I say that's just in the Million Dollar Band. Alabama is the Dallas Cowboys of College Football. Talented, flush with cash, big name coach, etc, but I think there is drama on the horizon. McElroy is talented enough to lead the team, but I think the Ingram V. Richardson debate will become the Jacob V. Edward of college football, and the defense is too young and lacks established leadership. They'll lose a heartbreaker at some point, I'm guessing a close game either at South Carolina or LSU, and we will all talk about how hard it is to win repeat championships.

-Ohio State: I heard a lot in the NBA playoffs this year about how basketball is the ultimate team game, and how all of today's superstars need help to win. While this may be true these days, I think Football exemplifies teamwork and unity in ways basketball cannot. I say this here because I feel like Ohio State will struggle with becoming the Terrelle Pryor show. I have faith in Jim Tressel being a good coach, and Ohio State being consistently able to recruit and replace great players in key positions, but until I start hearing about them, I just don't see them escaping a "Pryor shadow" that looms larger and larger every day in a state that LeBron recently left the spotlight on for a new superstar....

Boise State- Took it in the face Saturday because of Virginia Tech losing to James Madison. No real challenges remaining on the schedule, and eventually one team in the decaying Western Athletic Conference HAS to challenge them at some point, right? Even if it doesn't happen, Boise just has too much(Blue Turf, Come from Idaho, Plays in the WAC, etc.) against it for the voters to put them in first place, no matter how much they deserve it.

TCU- Gary Patterson made the argument last year that the current system gives the Horny Toads the best opportunity to win the crystal football. I happen to agree with him. For TCU, you have a decent non-conference schedule, a very palatable group of bottom feeders in your conference, and several teams that have been your whipping boys for the past five years. After all of this is over, you have one game to get up for, most likely against Alabama or Ohio State, and it's mission accomplished. The problem gets to be with the top half of your conference. You lose a top caliber defensive end and replace half of your o line, and while you still have an experienced quarterback, and talent at receiver and running back, you also have to go to Utah for a cold, early November game, and have alternating weeks of BYU, Air Force, UNLV and Utah. Make it through there, and you're basically to Oz. And yes, you can also consider this my unofficial pick for one side of the National Championship game. It makes too much sense.

Oregon- Bill Simmons gets criticized by the self-proclaimed media experts for being too much of a fan and for laying importance on real world implications for determining outcomes on the field, but more often than not, he has a point. Unless you live under a rock, you know that Oregon is the weed and party capital school of the West Coast, and despite our good intentions for athletes, chances are, many of them are partaking. I like Chip Kelly, I like Oregon, I really like their uniforms, but as long as they continue to be located in Eugene, I won't pick them to win a National Championship. Sue me.

Texas- Jordan Shipley was severely underrated and Colt McCoy was overrated last year for a team that never really found a run game and never really dominated opponents in what I felt was a down year for the Big XII. Pardon the pun, but the Tide rolled over Texas like a steamroller in the championship game, and taking away Shipley makes that team even worse. Give Gilbert a year to develop, Muschamp a year to develop another Kindle or Orakpo, and maybe we can bring them back into the equation.

Oklahoma- Ditto everything above, only sub Bradford in for Shipley. Landry Jones sounds like an old west desperado, not an elite quarterback. Also, for having a nickname like "Big Game" Bob, Coach Stoops sure has done a poor job of winning big games.

Nebraska/Iowa- Both have the same basic teams; strong defense, farmville-type programs in the heart of the Midwest, faithful fan following, etc, but both teams lack the true star power or leadership to push them over the top. Typically teams win because of amazing talent, a something to prove mentality, or a senior-laden team with gobs of leadership, or a combination of the three. Neither of these programs really lean towards one of those points, and with both having to go through tough conference schedules, and future realignment, the outlook is less than rosy.

Utah-Too much inexperience. Although the team is fairly laden with talent, and being that it is their last year in the MWC, I don't see them being strong enough from a leadership standpoint or talented enough to make the run that the teams in 2004 or 2008 did.

BYU- Its easy to classify this year as a rebuilding year, but there was definitely talent to work with still. Losing to Air Force pretty much seals the deal though. The season isn't lost, but it might be a good time to start working the young guys into starting roles and live with the pains of on-the-fly development.

USU- Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Silly me. Only Oklahoma fans might consider them a contender, and I can't legally write down how I feel about OU fans here.

Snow/Dixie/Weber/SUU- Snow losing to Georgia Military puts them in a hole, but look for some of their standouts to land with both Utah and BYU in the spring, as always, and the Badgers will be competitive in conference, but with Gary Anderson doing more recruiting in-state, SUU on the rise, and Weber State holding its own, not to mention to lack of non-qualifiers, the Badgers will have a hard time discovering unknown talent, and dominating like in former years. Look for SUU and Weber to turn some heads and be competitive come playoff time. Dixie State will look to shake off the early rust and develop this season into a .500 finish.

Predicted Championship: Alabama loses to TCU 21-17. Want to know what the best part about making predictions in week 2 is? We still have four more months of College Football left to go! Until next time, Keep It Fresh, Ya'll.