Weekend Update

I know some of you may find this hard to imagine, but I was not the hulking mass of muscle that you may or may not see in the present day. No, I was a bit of a late bloomer, and although I had some decent size, I never really "spent the time" in the weight room because I was too scared of not growing tall enough. Naturally Chris Farley became a hero of mine. I made a pretty good name doing my best Matt Foley impression, and I'd even go so far as to credit my Chris impersonations with helping to win my SBO office. As tempting as it was to try and copy that format for my What to Watch For over the weekend, I'm just not sure that real quotations are quite the same as air quotations, but maybe I'm "wrong". Maybe I'm "out of the loop," or "not hip." Yeah, just enjoy the clip instead...

Friday

If you're in St George, catch either the Rodeo at the Dixie Sun Bowl, or one of the amazing documentaries being screened in the DOCUTAH film festival this weekend. If you need a quick football fix, nothing like catching some Friday Night Lights. I'm sure everyone has a favorite school.

Saturday

8:00 am- The only excuse you have for being up this early is you still haven't gone to bed yet or you have a huge, um, crush on Erin Andrews. Gameday on ESPN

10:00 a.m.- Arkansas v. Georgia: A good game this early in the season, while now it might not mean as much as far as conference rankings, by the end of the year this game could be a thorn or jewel in either team's crown. Look for Ryan Mallett to lead the 'Backs and an improved defense to a close victory over them Dawgs. I still love UGA though.

1:30 p.m.- Air Force v. Oklahoma- Hopefully the Falcons can continue to duplicate BYU's success a year ago in defeating the Boomer Sooners. My lawyers have advised me to not mention any more about my feelings for OU until the lawsuit is over.

Also

BYU v. Florida State- If ever Cougar nation needed a big national upset, it is now. Whether the Cougs are up to dismantling what should be a fired-up Seminole squad remains to me seen. After experiencing the football equivalent of a public pantsing, I'd expect FSU to come out fired up and try to strike fast against a BYU team that struggled to find a rhythm in the second half.

6:00 p.m.- Texas v Texas Tech/Notre Dame v. Michigan State- Neither of the previous matchups have been hyped much this week, but as with every week in College Football, something can be learned from both games. How will Texas do against a more explosive opponent? Will Notre Dame be able to rebound from a difficult loss to Michigan? If I knew, would I be writing this column from the bar in my kitchen?

Also

Utah v. New Mexico- And people wonder why Utah fans are excited to leave the Mtn West Conference. Traditionally, the Utes have struggled against the Lobos at home, and despite massive blowout losses to Oregon and Texas Tech, the Lobos apparently are still planning to show up for the rest of the season, physically at least.

8:30 p.m.- Iowa v. Arizona- Good early road test for the Hawkeyes, Tucson will be rocking early, but I doubt the enthusiasm will last long in what looks to be a defensive battle. Although one game does not a season make, which ever team emerges from this one with the W will have a bit of extra confidence and swagger as it continues down the road.

Sunday

Unless you have the Sunday Ticket, you'll probably end up watching either the Broncos or the Niners if you live in Utah. For those with the golden ticket, I suggest the following Buffet items;

Baltimore v. Cincinnati- Division Rivals. Nuff Said.

Chicago v. Dallas- Two of America's favorite teams, that aren't very good this year, try to beat the pants off each other. In other words, should be entertaining.

Philly v. Detroit- See what happens When Mike be Nimble Mike be Vick meets a Manchild named Suh.

New England v. Jets- Epic coaching battle, early trash talking between Moss and Revis, two totally different styles of play; just hook an IV to me at this point, I'm already dumping Gatorade on myself. That excited.

Monday

New Orleans v. San Fransisco- How bad is the plight of the Niners and Alex Smith? Tune in and see for yourself. Warning: Severe possibility of Niners puking the bed on the night of Jerry Rice's number retirement. Come on Magic Mike, show the boys what they lack!! Just not literally, again.

Until Monday, keep it fresh Y'all.